9.23.2003
ok, so i have some issues with that espn quiz. no offense, but all three of us cannot have the same score. that is why i took it upon myself to make my own quiz. men, get a piece of paper and pencil and take the following quiz to test your metrosexuality.
1. How frequently do you check yourself in the mirror?
Once, in the morning. (0 pts.)
A quick hair and teeth check in the middle of the day. (1 pts.)
You’ve used the rear view mirror in your car to check your hair (2 pts.)
Every mirror is an opportunity to make myself look better (3 pts.)
Bonus point: You carry your own mirror in your man bag.
2. Give yourself one point for each of the following products that you own:
A conditioner that is separate from your shampoo.
Soap specifically for your face.
Something stronger than gel to sculpt your hair.
Lotion (Bonus point: It’s scented lotion.)
Loofah (Bonus point: You know what a loofah is.)
3. When it’s time to get a haircut, you think to yourself…
I wonder if my buddy with the clippers is busy. (0)
Where’s the nearest SuperCuts? (1)
I better make an appointment. (2)
Should I re-do my highlights? (3)
4. Your friend suggests the two of you should go in for a pedicure. Your reaction:
No way! (0)
You think about it. (1)
As long as nobody finds out, I’ll go. (2)
I’ve needed a pedicure for months! (3)
Bonus point: Your friend was a guy.
5. Aside from sneakers, how many shoes do you own?
1-2. (0)
3-4. (1)
5+ (2)
Bonus point: You’ve bought shoes solely based on how they would look with an outfit.
Extra bonus point: You have to think about that last bonus point.
6. Which would best describe the way you shop for clothes?
My mom shops for my clothes. (0)
Mervyn’s is having a sale! (1)
My girlfriend helps me pick out the clothes I wear. (2)
I will not rest until I find the bootcut jeans that fit me. (3)
7. Give yourself a point for every name you recognize on the following list:
Kate Spade
Steve Madden
Salvatorre Ferragamo
Louis Vuitton.
Bonus points: Give yourself an extra point if you own anything designed by any of the above names.
8. What is the last book you’ve read? (Magazines are not books.)
C’mon, at least magazines are reading! (0)
I don’t remember, but it’s the one I was assigned to read when I was in school. (1)
Something non-fictional. (2)
A current best-seller. (3)
Bonus point: You read it because it was recommended to you.
9. You’re going to the movies with your girlfriend, and she wants the two of you to see the sappy romantic comedy. What do you do?
Feign sickness and cut the date short. (0)
Suggest going back home and renting a movie. (1)
You go in, reluctantly. (2)
I’ve been dying to see this movie, too! (3)
10. When is the last time you cried?
Crying is a sign of weakness. (0)
I got choked up watching ‘Brian’s Song’. (1)
The sappy romantic comedy my girlfriend and I went to see the other night. (2)
While reading something. (Magazines count this time.) (3)
Bonus point: You’re getting teary eyed because you are remembering why you cried the last time.
11. When watching ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, you...
What the hell are you talking about? (0)
Take mental notes. (1)
Feel like you have nothing to learn from the show. (2)
Watch the show and think you can do a better job than the experts. (3)
Bonus points: Give yourself a bonus point for every member of the Fab 5 you can name.
12. I took this quiz because…
I’m bored at work. (0)
I wonder, ‘Am I a metrosexual?’ (1)
I want to know how much of a metrosexual I am. (2)
You’re still wondering why there isn’t a question about cleanliness on this quiz. (3)
Bonus point: You are going to give this quiz to somebody else because you’re curious about his metrosexuality.
Grading
0-5: Metrophobe. Some serious repression issues. Seek counseling.
6-12: Dude. Still unaware that you carry an X chromosome.
13-24: Enlightened. Enjoys the red meat… with an occasional glass of wine.
25-36: Closet Metrosexual. No need in denying what you are.
37-48: Metrosexual Man. You know it, and you are not ashamed to say it.
49+: Ultimate Metro: As much as you want it, sorry to say, there’s no parade for you.
1. How frequently do you check yourself in the mirror?
Once, in the morning. (0 pts.)
A quick hair and teeth check in the middle of the day. (1 pts.)
You’ve used the rear view mirror in your car to check your hair (2 pts.)
Every mirror is an opportunity to make myself look better (3 pts.)
Bonus point: You carry your own mirror in your man bag.
2. Give yourself one point for each of the following products that you own:
A conditioner that is separate from your shampoo.
Soap specifically for your face.
Something stronger than gel to sculpt your hair.
Lotion (Bonus point: It’s scented lotion.)
Loofah (Bonus point: You know what a loofah is.)
3. When it’s time to get a haircut, you think to yourself…
I wonder if my buddy with the clippers is busy. (0)
Where’s the nearest SuperCuts? (1)
I better make an appointment. (2)
Should I re-do my highlights? (3)
4. Your friend suggests the two of you should go in for a pedicure. Your reaction:
No way! (0)
You think about it. (1)
As long as nobody finds out, I’ll go. (2)
I’ve needed a pedicure for months! (3)
Bonus point: Your friend was a guy.
5. Aside from sneakers, how many shoes do you own?
1-2. (0)
3-4. (1)
5+ (2)
Bonus point: You’ve bought shoes solely based on how they would look with an outfit.
Extra bonus point: You have to think about that last bonus point.
6. Which would best describe the way you shop for clothes?
My mom shops for my clothes. (0)
Mervyn’s is having a sale! (1)
My girlfriend helps me pick out the clothes I wear. (2)
I will not rest until I find the bootcut jeans that fit me. (3)
7. Give yourself a point for every name you recognize on the following list:
Kate Spade
Steve Madden
Salvatorre Ferragamo
Louis Vuitton.
Bonus points: Give yourself an extra point if you own anything designed by any of the above names.
8. What is the last book you’ve read? (Magazines are not books.)
C’mon, at least magazines are reading! (0)
I don’t remember, but it’s the one I was assigned to read when I was in school. (1)
Something non-fictional. (2)
A current best-seller. (3)
Bonus point: You read it because it was recommended to you.
9. You’re going to the movies with your girlfriend, and she wants the two of you to see the sappy romantic comedy. What do you do?
Feign sickness and cut the date short. (0)
Suggest going back home and renting a movie. (1)
You go in, reluctantly. (2)
I’ve been dying to see this movie, too! (3)
10. When is the last time you cried?
Crying is a sign of weakness. (0)
I got choked up watching ‘Brian’s Song’. (1)
The sappy romantic comedy my girlfriend and I went to see the other night. (2)
While reading something. (Magazines count this time.) (3)
Bonus point: You’re getting teary eyed because you are remembering why you cried the last time.
11. When watching ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, you...
What the hell are you talking about? (0)
Take mental notes. (1)
Feel like you have nothing to learn from the show. (2)
Watch the show and think you can do a better job than the experts. (3)
Bonus points: Give yourself a bonus point for every member of the Fab 5 you can name.
12. I took this quiz because…
I’m bored at work. (0)
I wonder, ‘Am I a metrosexual?’ (1)
I want to know how much of a metrosexual I am. (2)
You’re still wondering why there isn’t a question about cleanliness on this quiz. (3)
Bonus point: You are going to give this quiz to somebody else because you’re curious about his metrosexuality.
Grading
0-5: Metrophobe. Some serious repression issues. Seek counseling.
6-12: Dude. Still unaware that you carry an X chromosome.
13-24: Enlightened. Enjoys the red meat… with an occasional glass of wine.
25-36: Closet Metrosexual. No need in denying what you are.
37-48: Metrosexual Man. You know it, and you are not ashamed to say it.
49+: Ultimate Metro: As much as you want it, sorry to say, there’s no parade for you.
